I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize