is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
