I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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