I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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