I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
