Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
