You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
