I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
