Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
