So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
