Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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