Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
