sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
