my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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