I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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