i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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