This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
