I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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