Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
