How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
