where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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