Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
