Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
third nipple confirmed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
