You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
