I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
