Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
