About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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