my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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