Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
