I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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