Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
