man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I look better un-naked...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How naked do you want me to be?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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