Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize