I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
