I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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