My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Its about making memories worth repressing
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
