Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
