just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
