Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
