farters have to be the big spoon...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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