Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize