If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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