The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
