wanna go halves on a baby?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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