I just pynch a tree in the face
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
