Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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