SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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