Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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