I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
