I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize