You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
