my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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