either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
