Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
