my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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