Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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