Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
