you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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