His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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