I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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