Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
